


Wrapped around your ankles over the waterfall

by gealach



Series: We shall burn [3]
Category: All New X-Men (Comics), Dark Wolverine (Comics), Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Past Abuse, Sibling Bonding, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gealach/pseuds/gealach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His secrets finally revealed, Daken has now left the Jean Grey School. His first stop is the abandoned Weapon X facility...<br/>... well, except it's not abandoned.</p><p>Set before All New X-Men 26.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrapped around your ankles over the waterfall

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder: This work is part of a series and as such deals with the direct aftermath of "I'll come back to haunt you if I drown", taking place only a few days after its end and referencing it heavily.
> 
>  **English isn't my first language** ; I hope you'll forgive my mistakes.

“I'm so heavy, heavy,

so heavy in your arms.

This will be my last confession;

 _I love you_ never felt like any blessing.”

Florence + the Machine – _Heavy in your arms_

 

 

Laura was polishing her claws when Emma Frost stormed in the communal area, her eyes scanning the gathered kids. Laura straightened up from the corner she currently sat in: the woman radiated worry.

“Girls,” she snapped, and the trio turned towards her with varying degrees of annoyance. They had been chatting idly about things Laura wasn't interested in.

“Yes, Miss Frost?”

“We need you in there,” Emma Frost said, and the worry was still there. Not urgent, but it was there, mixed with curiosity and confusion.

“You need telepaths?” Jean Grey said – well, young Jean Grey. It was difficult to keep track. Laura wondered why, exactly, hadn't the kids been sent back to their time. “Can I –”

“No, no, no need to,” Emma Frost said, touching the backs of two of the Cuckoos and sending them all to the direction she had been coming from. Her eyes scanned again the room. “Laura? Could you come, please?”

Taken aback, she complied, throwing a glance at Jean Grey. She had been morose since Scott Summers – young Scott Summers – should she call him Scottie and leave it at that? – had left his time-displaced friends to explore the universe with his father. She seemed on the verge of having a breakdown and, given her powers and her friends' seeming unawareness, she had been keeping an eye on her.

She followed Emma Frost in silence down a corridor: it brought to the X-men's quarters – were they X-men still? Wasn't the name used by Wolverine's faction now? It was still a bit confusing. After a few moments of walking, the woman spoke.

“Are you aware of the fact Logan has a son?”

“Daken,” she said promptly, “Yes.”

“Are you familiar with him?”

“I've met him, yes.”

“Suppose it's been unpleasant,” Emma Frost said, and she could smell the disgust on her.

“It has been... interesting.” It hadn't certainly been what she thought could be. The man wasn't what he showed to the world, that much was very clear. He had many layers. They had used each other, but also seemed to come to a kind of understanding, a weird sort of respect on his part perhaps?

“Mh. He's here,” Emma Frost said, and Laura hadn't the time to answer as they reached what appeared to be the surveillance room. All the adults were there, the Cuckoos waiting in a corner.

“Here where?” Laura said, and then she saw it: the screen showing the clearing just outside the facility.

She stepped closer, cocking her head to the side. Cyclops stood just in front of it, arms crossed, jaw clenched.

On the screen was Daken; she recognised him only by the face. He had changed hairstyle, keeping his hair in a loose ponytail. He was sitting cross-legged in a random spot, not near to the facility, but closer to the woods. The recording was zoomed.

He was just sitting there; didn't seem focused on the facility.

“What is he doing here?” Laura asked.

“Yes, that's what I would like to know,” Cyclops said. He clenched his teeth. “He doesn't _seem_ to know we're here. What's your take?”

Laura turned his attention to him again. It was difficult to understand what he was doing; he seemed focused on a particular spot, but there appeared to be nothing there. He just sat and appeared to be thinking. What about?

“We can't get to him without alerting him, miss Frost,” said one of the Cuckoos.

Emma Frost sighed.

Laura turned towards the rest of them. “He doesn't seem a threat. I don't think he knows we're here; and even if he knew, he couldn't come inside.”

“We have kids here,” said Cyclops. “I'd drive him away, but it would give away our location if he's unaware of it.”

“Should we just wait then?” Kitty Pryde said. “I don't know, I don't want him near. He stormed into the school a while ago, played some sick game with Logan.”

Emma Frost snorted, “Oh, dear. Right, you don't know. He did more than that, he kidnapped your resident Apocalypse.”

“Don't _call_ him that,” snapped Kitty Pryde. “Evan was kidnapped by the Brotherhood.”

“Yes, and he was working with them.”

“How do you know that?” Kitty Pryde turned to the screens, “Well, that's it then. We have to get rid of him.”

“I don't know, he _isn't_ doing anything,” mused Emma Frost. “Anyway, I know because while you were in space, a ruckus happened. An attack on the Jean Grey School.”

“ _What?_ ” Kitty Pryde said. “Is everyone alright?”

“Yes, yes.”

“The students?” Laura asked.

“Everyone alright. And you know who was to be thanked for it?” Emma Frost had a wry smile on her face. “You wouldn't believe it.”

Laura caught up immediately. “ _Daken?_ ” She asked, bewildered.

Emma Frost nodded. “Some strange scheme between Sabretooth, Mystique and the future Brotherhood. S.H.I.E.L.D. was involved, too. It was Mystique that was sending those Sentinels, by the way. She was impersonating Dazzler.”

Kitty Pryde didn't seem to be able to keep up with all the information. “Is... is Dazzler fine?”

“We don't know. We haven't found her yet.”

“They wanted the Original Five?”

“No. Quire and Apo – Evan,” she grimaced.

“So what happened, Daken was working with them and then turned around and betrayed them?”

“Oh, no, you misunderstand. Apparently our stay here has cut us out from updates.” Emma Frost waved her hands. “Daken was staying at the Jean Grey School –”

“Is Logan _insane?_ ”

“Oh, darling, that's a question I ask myself everyday. But no. Daken was _amnesiac_ and staying at the Jean Grey School.” Emma Frost said, cocking an eyebrow. “And during the attack something triggered his memories back and lo and behold, he helped not Sabretooth, but _them_.”

Kitty Pryde had disbelief written all over her face.

Laura cocked her head to the side and returned her attention to the screen. “And this happened recently? We've not been in space for long.”

Cyclops nodded. “A few days ago, just before you returned.”

Laura crossed her arms. “Then –” she said, and then caught herself.

“Tell us, dear,” said Emma Frost.

“This has nothing to do with you,” Laura said slowly. “No, I don't think he knows we're here at all. It has to have to do the amnesia.”

“My thoughts exactly, Laura.” Emma Frost said.

Cyclops shook his head. “I don't follow.”

“This place has _significance_ ,” Laura said, and shivered. She hated to be between these walls. “Logan was molded here; the people who molded me were a branch of this project. Perhaps Romulus –”

“Who's Romulus?” Kitty Pryde asked. Didn't she know? Didn't Logan talk with her? She thought he did.

Was it her place to tell?

Emma Frost and Cyclops apparently knew. “A man who ordered the murder of Daken's mother,” the woman said. “He then kidnapped him, taking him from her womb. He raised him and told him _Logan_ had killed the woman.”

Kitty Pryde hissed, bringing her hands to her mouth.

Emma Frost turned towards Laura. “You're saying that maybe Daken was brought here too, and he's here to come to terms with it?”

“Perhaps. I don't know. But I think it's likely.” Laura turned to the screen again. The man hadn't moved. “He's not a threat.”

“Good. You understand him better than anyone here; I trust your judgement. Girls,” she turned to the Cuckoos, “Please notify Logan.”

“Emma,” said Cyclops, at the same time with Kitty Pryde, “He's dangerous.”

“Just a tormented soul, darling. These walls have created monsters.” Emma Frost shrugged.

“I hardly think he's a poor, tormented thing,” snapped Cyclops.

“I despise the man, darling, but he _can't_ come in. So leave him be. God knows what horrors –” she shivered. Laura understood it then; the woman had _been_ in Daken's mind.

One of the Cuckoos shrieked and fell on the ground, throwing up.

“What –” They all converged on the trio; the standing girls were trembling, looking green. “Girls?” Emma Frost prompted.

“Wolverine is unreachable. He's a _mess_ –” one of the girls said, “Loathing and rage and guilt, miss Frost, he's _drowning_ in guilt, he's –” she, too, threw up.

Cyclops turned to Emma Frost, “Think this has to do with _him?_ ” he snapped, “The timing fits.”

“Oh, _my_ , the conspiracy theories. And even if it were the case?” Emma Frost cocked elegantly an eyebrow at him. “Girls, notify Rachel or Psylocke then. Scott, he _cannot_ come in.”

Kitty Pryde interjected, “Logan has been a mess since he lost his healing factor,” she provided, “So –”

“Done, miss Frost. And Psylocke said Wolverine has been in his room since Daken went away and hasn't come out since.”

“ _Conspiracy theories!_ ” Cyclops said, “And now?”

Emma Frost raised her eyebrows, “He can't come in.”

“And she says –” continued the Cuckoo, “– that they had a fallout of sorts. Daken attacked Wolverine, but Wolverine said it was his fault.”

Laura turned to the screens. “If Logan says it was his fault, it was his fault. Daken isn't doing anything, Mr. Summers, leave him be.”

“Girl, you have no idea of the things Logan can forgive that boy –”

“He's older than you, Mr. Summers,” provided Laura calmly. “He's sixty.”

She would have loved to see the look in his eyes, but she had to content herself with his grimace.

“Yes. I know that.” Had he really? “But Logan has a tendency to forgive him everything.”

“Yes, he's so forgiving that he _killed_ him,” snorted Emma Frost. There was a collective, stupefied gasp. Laura reacted with more aplomb but, equally startled, stared at the woman. She hadn't expected that. “He was amnesiac because Logan killed him. It doesn't take a genius, Scott, to understand what happened when he regained his memories.” Kitty Pryde seemed devastated, her eyes wide. She had blanched. “I mean, the man is a raging sociopath but for God's sake, Scott, _I_ would have done the same. It's a bloody miracle he didn't kill Logan.” She huffed.

A miracle indeed, Laura thought. Especially because Logan apparently hadn't his healing factor anymore. So what had held his hand?

She turned again to the screen. What was he thinking about? What was happening in that head?

Had he really been in the facility before?

Had he – if he had been, if Romulus had been a part of this, that would mean –

Laura asked if she was still needed and they used the opportunity to cut the meeting. They decided to leave Daken be, for the moment; they would take some measure if he still had been there in the morning.

If Romulus had been a part of this, that would mean that he could be linked to _her_ facility too. Was it the case? Did Daken know something about her? He had seemed not to know her in Madripoor, but was it the case or had he been lying?

She had to talk to him.

Well into the night she slid down the corridors of the facility, only to be greeted by the sitting figure of Emma Frost.

“Try not to give away too much,” the woman said.

Laura stood in the darkness. “Miss Frost?”

“He's still there, you know. Hasn't even lit a fire.” She shivered. “It must be freezing out there.”

Laura furrowed her brows. “You're not going to stop me?” She could certainly try.

The woman stood. “I think you have your demons and you need to talk about it with someone who could understand, who could have been through the same,” she said softly. “Not something we can help with, sadly. I know it's difficult for you to be _here_ , in this building. You can leave anytime.”

“I'll stay here, for now.”

“Of course. You –” Emma Frost shook her head. “I think you two are more similar than the eye shows.”

“We're different. He limits himself. He does it willingly.”

“Ah, child, don't we all?” She felt her smile more than seeing it. “I trust you not to use the front door?”

“Of course.”

Off she went, reaching one of the air conducts and using it to reach a spot she knew would be further from the main compound. She would reach Daken from south; he would assume she had just arrived. She had washed herself and her clothes thoroughly to erase her companions' scents.

She walked in the forest for twenty minutes before reaching the place she knew Daken was.

He wasn't there.

Had he gone away? Had she lost him? She walked in the clearing for a while, staring at the front doors of the facility. The full moon illuminated faintly the space.

“I smelled you coming from miles away,” a voice to her right said. She spun, claws unsheathed, and saw him leaning on a tree, arms crossed. “Laura. Nice to see you.” He was white with hypothermia, his lips blue. She tried to catch his scent, but there was nothing.

“Daken.” She sheathed her claws. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, Laura, I could ask the same,” he said. She couldn't read him; he wasn't threatening, seemed mildly interested. He was shivering from the cold, but seemed unconcerned by it. He sat again were he had sat before.

“I asked first.”

Daken laughed briefly. “That's true. An answer for an answer, then?”

She nodded.

“I'm _here_ –” Daken spread his arms and said theatrically to the world, “– on a soul-cleansing, self-searching trip.” He cocked his head to the side. “You?”

He _seemed_ serious. “Likewise.”

Daken laughed again, “Oh, _Laura_ , you're lying. Well, it doesn't matter.” He shrugged. “It's quite fortunate to have found you here; I have a present for you. I was going to text you.”

“A present?” She watched him, suspicious.

“Oh, I think you'll like it.” Daken sighed. He seemed high, but he wasn't, not according to her senses. How long had he been there, exactly? The cold was beginning to affect even her, biting her face, and she was dressed for it, whereas Daken wore light clothing.

“Are you all right?”

“I'm perfectly fine, thank you. The world's spinning and the sun shines bright and there are billions, billions of stars and _that –_ ” he pointed, “ _–_ right there, is just an inconsequential spot in the snow. Wouldn't you concur?”

She turned to look; she knew what he was pointing at. The spot he had been so focused on for hours. She felt the hair on the back of her neck rise and it wasn't for the biting cold.

“Yes,” she said, turning towards Daken. “That's just a spot in the snow.”

Daken laughed. It seemed –

– hysterical.

“Oh, but it is! It _is_.” He let himself fall backwards, arms spread wide. He seemeed a grown-up child trying to do a snow angel, no – he seemed a crucified man.

There was a terrible bliss on his face. He was humming.

Laura shivered. _This is private. I should –_

“This is actually exhilarating,” Daken said. “I feel so free, you know. Romulus is dead and Logan knows and everything's perfect. If I had known it would take so little I would have done it sooner.”

Done what? Logan knew what?

Romulus was dead?

“Oh, you spoilsport. Don't stand there like that! Come, sit. Come on.”

Laura complied, sitting a few feet from him. She had her questions; she needed to ask.

But how could she approach the subject?

“So,” Daken propped himself on his elbows, “Why are you here?”

“I told you –”

“You stink of Emma Frost, Laura. Are the X-men here? I told Logan not to try and find me.”

“No, they're not here.”

“Lying.”

“They've brought me here,” it was almost the truth, “I needed to see the facility.”

“Just when I'm here? Try harder.”

“I swear this is a coincidence. Why on earth would someone imagine you would be here?”

Daken snorted and lay down again. “Satellite surveillance?”

“There is no such thing pointed here. Not by the X-men, at least.”

Daken hummed. “There is no such thing as a coincidence.”

“Well, this is.”

“Why the sudden need to see it? You've never been here.”

“No, I haven't. Why _your_ sudden need? Have you been here?”

“You could say that.”

Were they really _that_ much similar? “Did they –”

“Ah, no, not like that. I'm all me, thank you. No strange metallic bits.” He laughed. “Not that they aren't useful. You should consider getting all the work done, Laura.”

“I think I'll pass.”

“You're not farsighted at all. Shame.”

She ignored him. “Did they torture you, then?”

Daken threw his head back and laughed, laughed, laughed. “Oh, _my_ , Laura. You're hilarious.”

“That's no laughing matter. I know very well how it is to be tortured. I was offering –”

“Oh, shove it.” Daken snarled, “I'm in no mood for this. Yes, of course I was. Not here.”

She shifted her position, sitting cross-legged, and looked down at him. How strange they shared so much and were so different.

Romulus. She needed to ask him about Romulus.

“You child,” Daken said suddenly, “You had it so watered down.”

She burned with anger, her claws unsheathing before she even noticed. He didn't even flinch. “Don't you dare –”

“Oh, don't you dare, don't you dare,” he mocked her. “Child. Oh, they raised you in a lab. Woe you. I _envy_ you. You don't know how _lucky_ you've been. You should kiss the earth you walk on everyday for not putting you in Romulus' hands.”

“You won't belittle what I've been through!” He had no idea of the pain she had suffered, of the events which had shaped her.

“No, that would make me too similar to Logan. But do me the same courtesy, Laura.”

“I'm not belittling anything.” She had even tried to understand him. Was the man so self-centered he mistook concern for mockery? She sheathed her claws.

“You _are_. I've earned the right to laugh at whatever the hell I want without children muttering nonsense and pretending to understand. _You_ , of all people, should understand that. Don't tell me you think they know you? No, they don't. You're alone, Laura, always will be. No one will ever get you.”

“And I suppose you do?”

Daken snorted. “I won't pretend I care, at least.”

That had her nodding. It was honest, at least, in a sick, contorted way. But people, people made it simpler, made her human. Jubilee and Gambit and Logan. They anchored her to the earth.

But he was floating over the earth, unconcerned with everything. “Romulus. Was he involved with this place?”

“Of course he was. Who do you think tipped them to Logan's location? Who do you think financed this place, the experiments?”

He knew more than he was letting on. “I need to know. Was he involved in my making, too?”

“And there she is with her questions. Ah. I knew it.” Daken shut his eyes. “I don't know. Could have been. I'd never heard of you. But that doesn't mean anything.” He seemed bitter. “Even if he knew about you, he wasn't concerned with you. Like I said, you had it watered down.” At her annoyance, he snorted. “Ah, please. Your scientists were unrefined monkeys. They addicted you to pain and didn't notice that you were, didn't think to bring you down with something else. Romulus would have done things differently.”

_Like he did with you?_

She didn't voice her thought.

“Physical pain is nothing,” he said, “For ones such as us, Laura, it becomes a companion. You learn to know it, embrace it, live with it, till it's not a weakness, but a strenght.”

She nodded. She knew what he was talking about intimately. “But the pain they inflicted cannot be forgiven. They made me a caged animal, convinced me I wasn't human. They played with my life –”

“Your intellect, Laura,” Daken interrupted her, “ _That's_ your most prized possession. They didn't take it from you, because they needed it.”

“They took _control_ away from me,” she said. The trigger scent.

“Yes. The ability to _stop_ , the fine line between you and your instincts.”

“You have no such trigger, though, have you?”

Daken laughed. “You think I'd tell you?”

“Of course not.” Laura had wondered, while they tracked down Colcord in Madripoor. He had seemed to understand her plight. She had gambled, played on that, and convinced him to work with her.

“They –” Laura closed her eyes. “They kidnapped me, recently. They used the scent. Used _me_. Again. Made me almost kill my friends.”

“I won't pretend to talk about your feelings, Laura.”

“I wouldn't want you to.”

“Good. Is the person responsible dead?”

“No.”

“Do you have a lead already?”

She opened her eyes. Daken was lying on the side, looking at her. Was he offering what she thought he was offering?

“Yes.”

He nodded, very serious. “And do you need a partner?”

“No.” It was something she had to do on her own. But she did wonder at his offer.

He nodded again. “Good hunt, then.”

“You _do_ care. Why do you –”

“ _Why do you limit yourself?_ ” Daken laid on his back again and raised his arms, palms up to the sky. “ _You care about power, but that is something you already have. Power comes easy to you. But you choose not to care. You limit your heart. I do not now why. Unless you think caring for others is more dangerous than seeking power_.”

Laura watched him quote word for word what she had told him in Madripoor and felt a sting in her, something she hadn't thought possible. He remembered, he had thought about it, he had heeded her words.

Perhaps she had only voiced something he already knew about himself.

“And why then?” Laura said. _Maybe I don't have a heart, Laura_ , he had said in Madripoor. _Maybe power is all I have. Or all I need._

“Maybe I have a heart, Laura. Maybe I can care more deeply that you can realize.”

She shifted, looked down at him.

“I don't concern myself with mere insects, no. They are below me. _Why_ am I here?” Daken said suddenly, “Because this is the stage of my lowest moment, Laura.” He sat up, didn't look at her. His shaking had intensified, he was likely entering the final stage. “I came here of my own volition. I wanted to see him.”

“Logan.”

“Yes. I wanted to kill him, if possible. I had just discovered he was here. Well,” he laughed briefly, “No. I had been made to discover he was here. Everything was staged.”

“Killing him for killing your mother?” Laura said quietly. She didn't understand why Daken was suddenly telling her these things.

“Yes. It was fresh; I had just been told about it.”

Laura furrowed her brows at that. “That's not possible. Logan was taken by Weapon X at the end of the Seventies –”

“1977,” provided Daken, quietly. There was something in the way he spoke the date that made Laura shudder.

“You were what, thirty?”

“Ish.”

“Why did Romulus wait so much to tell you?”

“Isn't it _obvious?_ ” Daken's voice was extremely bitter.

She could only surmise the piece of false information had been used to tie Daken more closely to Romulus. Why wait so many years, though?

“That's unimportant. He was keeping it for a rainy day. It didn't matter _when_ he would do it; he was just waiting for a golden occasion. And, oh, _this_ was. I came here –” Daken said, “– and saw him. A mindless beast.”

A mindless beast. She could believe it. She knew what Logan had been subjected to; she had been made to read all his files at the facility.

“There he was, the man who had gutted my mother, gutting wolves, naked in the snow. Do you see it, Laura? Do you see the elegance of the scheme? You've got to at least admire the sheer daring of it. Oh, making me find the file after _that_. A nice touch.” Daken was tracing lazy patterns in the snow with rigid fingers. His hands were blue. _He's going to die if he stays out here longer._ Was he saying all those things because the hypothermia was confusing him? He seemed otherwise functional, he wasn't stuttering or exhibiting a confused behavior. He was clearly withholding certain things, so he wasn't completely affected still. Judging by his shaking and the color of his skin, though, it wouldn't take much longer.

“I can't see the scheme if I lack part of the context,” she said pragmatically.

“Well, you don't expect me to splutter everything at you, do you? That would be self-damaging. But when you dance with the devil you've got to know you will be burned alive. You should be more careful, not let yourself be drawn to the flames like a moth, hypnotised by promises and lies you know to be as such. _Heart_ ,” he spat the word as if it were a curse, “The heart leads to a swift demise.”

 _This is the stage of my lowest moment._ Maybe the moment when he had let his prized intellect be overcome by his heart?

“Logan wasn't attacked by anyone,” she mused, “He was always monitored, it would be in his files. Did you decide to spare him?” _Like you did at the Jean Grey School? Why did you spare him, if he had killed you? Tell me. Tell me the truth._

Daken laughed. “Oh, no. You're getting it all wrong, Laura. Had it been up to me, I would have merrily slaughtered him there and then. No, I was stopped. Logan was needed, you see. Was to be molded into something Romulus could use. We are all pawns, in the end, Laura. You must be the player or be slaughtered.”

“I don't think that way. I choose not to think that way. That would mean I can have no agency, no will. That would mean those scientists were right and I am a mere lab rat. But I am more than that. I am not defined by what they did to me, I'm defined by what I choose to do with what they did to me.”

“Then you're a dreamer. It's fine to dream, to tell yourself lies. You'll grow up eventually.”

“ _You_ need to grow up. You aren't defined by your past, but only by your actions, what you do with your life.”

“You talk as if _I_ let myself be governed by the past.”

“You do. You're here.”

“I'm here to _rid_ myself of that day, Laura. I've got an epiphany, recently.”

“What happened that day?”

“That day? That day.” Daken's frozen-blue face set in a mask. “Oh, a true masterpiece. Hammered the point home. Act II of the drama, with mindblowing finale. Act I _pales_ in comparison. That was excusable: a still naive young man confronted with a horrid truth. Oh, no. I say I was naive; I wasn't, not really. Never been. But in that matter, yes. A child. Burned in my memory. I will never, never live it down.” He was babbling, staring ahead, in the last stages of hypothermia, now. The confusion had finally hit. Why the hell was he doing this, this sort of cleansing, Laura didn't know, but she wasn't going to have him die in front of the facility. She took off her jacket and put it on his shoulders.

“You need a fire. Wait here,” she said, and went to catch some wood.

“Oh, don't bother, Laura, why do you care?” Daken's sluggish voice followed her.

_I don't know why. Maybe because I see myself in you, I see what I would be if I hand't found someone who cared about me._

As she returned, her arms filled with wood, she saw he was undressing in the spot he had been looking at before. She hissed. He _was_ in the last stages. She reached him. “Daken, you need to get dressed. You're in hypothermia,” she said, slowly and calmly. He didn't heed her. “Daken?” She should bring him inside. Was he conscious?

“Relaaax, I've done this pleeenty of times.” He folded his shirt, his movements lethargic, and put it on the ground, next to his trousers. He lied down in the snow.

“Died of hypothermia?”

“Of courrrrse,” he slurred, “Plee-eee-enty.”

“I _am_ going to lit a fire,” she said. “You won't stop me.”

“Be my guest, too late now,” he murmured, and then yawned. He laced his fingers over his stomach, sinking deeper in the snow, as if preparing for a nap.

She needed to get him inside, but by now she knew he wouldn't let himself be moved. She understood she had interrupted something private and important, but couldn't bring herself to leave him to die.

Because he _was_ letting himself die. What did he think would happen once revived? Some mystical truth to be revealed? What had really happened at the Jean Grey School? She had to reach Logan and ask him.

She lit the fire, added wood till it burned bright. It wouldn't warm him much, but should be enough to keep him alive; his healing factor should do the rest –

“He fucked me,” Daken murmured, “Right here.”

Startled by the sudden confession, Laura stared down at him. He was staring at the stars, giggling helplessly. “And you know what, Laura? This is hilarious. Do you want to laugh, Laura?”

“Daken –”

“Oh, come on, it's funny!”

It wouldn't be funny at all when he would wake up and realize what he had been saying.

“I don't think you want to tell me, Daken.”

“Oh, this is all _therapeutic_. I need to talk. Talk is good,” he nodded. “Very true. Did you know that?”

“I –” She passed a hand through her hair, stared down at him.

“Such fundamental truths from the mouths of the young. Mh-mh. I was going to have him right there, so I left.” He closed his eyes. “Tell me. Is it. Is this what it feels like.” There was an uncertain quality to his voice, a wonder.

“You are at the last stages of hypothermia,” she said, very slowly. “You don't know what you're saying, you aren't lucid. You're telling everything that comes to your mind and tomorrow you'll be furious. Do you understand that?”

“It's your fault,” he mumbled, “You come here and talk and talk and talk and don't want to leave even when I offend you and then I thought, whatever, she could stand watch by my corpse and scare predators away. It isn't funny to be eaten alive, Laura, Laura, have you ever been eaten alive?” He opened his eyes; the sclera was red.

She made her decision then and sat near his bluish, shivering body. This was his choice and she wouldn't interfere. “I'm going to stand watch by your corpse,” she said quietly. She let a hand rest over his shoulder.

“So sweet of you. You're exquisite. A work of art. Sharp and brilliant. Fighting alongside you was exhilarating.”

“... thank you,” she said, perplexed.

“I will hurt you, Laura, because that's the only way I know. Run away from me.”

“I won't,” she said quietly.

“I ruin everything, you know,” his lids were slowly closing again. “And I like it. I'm not capable of creating anything. But I want to try, I will try, I'm free now.”

“I'm sure you are,” she closed her eyes, overcome by sadness.

“The king is dead, long live the king,” he laughed quietly, “I lay here and I let him do everything he wanted, even if I knew, I knew, I knew he was setting me up, I knew what he was doing, for the first time I knew and I lay here and let him, let him, let him. And he knew that I knew and derived pleasure from it. The exquisite pleasure of knowing you're hurting someone. Being exposed to what you do to others is an interesting rite of passage. It either breaks you or leaves you numb. You ask why, Laura? Because it leads to nothing but pain.” He emitted a short sound that could have been anything. “Why aren't you laughing? It's funny.”

“It isn't,” Laura said. She didn't know what exactly was he talking about but could surmise enough.

“It is if I decide it is,” Daken coughed. “Laugh, Laura.”

“No.”

“Laugh, Laura. A nice soundtrack for my rebirth.”

“You're out of your mind –”

“ _Laugh_ ,” he exhaled, and she was overwhelmed and pushed and pulled, a trigger of a different kind, a violation of her body, and felt the laughter come out of her mouth, and laughed hysterically, laughed till there wasn't air in her lungs, till her stomach hurt, till her eyes were filled with tears, till –

The hysteria disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. “You bastard –” she snarled, turning towards him, and saw that he was dead.

She stared at him, furious, considering leaving him there to the wolves, then shook her head, disgusted at her own thoughts. She had promised and she would keep her promise, even as he had hurt her as he had said he would.

She hoped – damn him, but she really hoped this would change something. On a visceral level, she did see him as family. She understood very well the aching craving, even the self-destructive tendencies. They were blood, after all. Blood didn't make them family, but tied them close nonetheless.

She lit other fires during the night, to scare not only predators, but her own fears away. It was maddening and scary to see herself as if in a distorting mirror, to see the ruthlessness and damage the lack of love could do, face the horrifying thought that she was like that, deep down, that it was in her genes. She had learned to think better of herself, learned that genes didn't make her what she was. But the fear, that fear never really left her, never could.

The dawn found her mildly frozen, but willing to wait the time necessary for him to wake up. Now that the sun was up, the process should be much faster. It did seem, though, that his healing factor was slower than normal; had something happened? Logan had told her, months before, about the drugs Daken had been taking, of the cancer they had brought about, but she had surmised Daken was clean, now.

She surmised it was seven in the morning, more or less, when she was reached by a sleepy thought from the Cuckoo's hive mind.

 _Is he dead?_ The voice asked, confused.

 _Yes_ , she replied, _I'm waiting for him to wake up._ She glanced at him for good measure and waved once in the direction of the camera.

 _Gee, why is he naked?_ There was hunger in the thought and she blinked.

 _A bit old for you three, wouldn't you think?_ Emma Frost's mind added to the hive. _Laura? Everything ok?_

_Yes._

_What happened? Did he say why he's here?_

_I think..._ _It's private, Miss Frost._

_Fine. Do you think it will take much?_

_I don't know. I'll be careful, be at ease._

The psychic link broke; she revived the fires. She watched as Daken's skin took a healthier color, a healthier texture. She had always wondered how the reviving process from hypothermia could look like on them, from the outside. Being still in the snow certainly didn't help; when it had happened to her – because of course it had happened to her – it had been on a sterile environment, like every single one of her endurance tests. It seemed Romulus took a more direct approach. The scientists had never let her die, either, but removed her from the freezing rooms when she had been about to.

Two hours later Daken stirred and opened his eyes. He glanced around; for a fraction of second she saw surprise in his eyes when he saw her there.

“Laura. Still here?”

“I did promise,” she said mildly.

“You did?” He seemed taken aback for a second. _He – doesn't he remember?_ Oh, she needed to tread carefully.

“I said I was going to stand watch for you,” she said.

“And you _did_. Careful, Laura,” Daken snorted, and stood up, “You might make me cry.” He stood erect in the snow, basking in the sunlight, head tilted up against the sun. _My, isn't he theatrical._ He resembled a classical statue.

“Did you get what you wanted?” Laura asked then.

“Mh. It wasn't a question of getting anything, I was just making a point. All symbolical, you know. Like this: please excuse me,” without any further notice, he grabbed his penis and proceeded to urinate where he had lain. She averted her eyes, taken aback by the strangeness of the action, so different from what she had learned to expect from him. “Don't get me wrong,” he said serenely, “This is disgusting and stands for everything I despise, and precisely because of that it's a final, fitting _fuck you_. It's even satisfying, in a primeval way.” He sighed and crouched low to clean his hands in the snow.

She couldn't even pretend to understand what was going on in his head. Had the recovery from the amnesia affected his brain somehow? She cleared her throat, “I think you should get dressed.”

He snorted. “My, Laura, you're awfully prudish.”

“I'm _practical_. It's freezing.”

“Point taken.” Daken grabbed his clothes – he would certainly appreciate they were dry from having been close to the fires – and stood again, his back to her and his front to the facility. She waited for him to put at least his trousers on; she had decided a few things, during the night.

“Daken.”

“Mh?”

“Do you remember what happened tonight?”

Daken put his shirt on. “Why, did you assault me?”

“Wh –”

“I'm joking.” He half-turned towards her, buttoning his shirt. “I had an interesting conversation with my favourite next of kin. It made the waiting less dull.”

“Well thank you –”

“It doesn't take much to be my favourite next of kin, you know,” he interrupted her, a playful lilt to his voice, “Logan's positively dull.”

It was strange, but as he mentioned Logan there wasn't the loathing she would have expected. Now that she thought about it, there hadn't been whenever he had mentioned him, during the night. Had they finally made their peace, somehow? But he had _attacked_ Logan.

Attacked, but didn't try and kill.

“Daken. You said things –”

“Now that's _ominous_. Terrible confessions? I hope I didn't bore you to death, Laura dear.”

“You didn't bore me. You said –”

“I'm sure I said enough embarassing things to last a lifetime,” he said, dry. There was a warning in his voice.

“Not embarassing, just _private_ ,” she said.

“ _Ah_. That seems to be a constant, these days. I don't want to know what I said.”

“Daken –”

“ _Laura_.” Daken's posture changed, his muscles stilled. “Did I mention Logan?”

Logan? That was what worried him? She stood, perplexed, looking at him; he wasn't looking at her, but he was poised to strike. She switched to a defensive stance, just in case.

“Yes.” A slight repositioning of Daken's legs. “You said you came here to kill him –”

“Yes, _that_ I remember.” Daken turned his head to look at her, his eyes steely hard. “Later?”

“No.”

He relaxed and continued buttoning his shirt, flashing her a smile, as if he hadn't been about to attack her with no reason whatsoever. She didn't understand what had just happened.

“But you talked about Romulus –”

“I'm sure it was heartbreaking and that you want me to talk about my feelings, but I think I'll pass,” he said cheerfully. “Much appreciated, though.”

“Daken,” she said quietly, “You yourself said that you needed to talk.”

That had him freeze for a moment. “I'm sure I did,” he said dryly when he recomposed. “A residual that will go away soon.”

“But that's true,” she insisted. “I get it, Daken, I really do. I know how it is not to want to talk. I understand you. But if there is something I learned, is that –”

“Don't force me to hurt you, Laura. I like you.”

She took a step towards him; he held up a hand. “Fine,” he said, and closed his eyes for a second. “You want a heart to heart?” She began nodding – “Shall we talk about your time in New York before you joined the X-men, then?”

She froze. She couldn't help it; she just froze, staring at him. He returned the stare and there was no apology in his eyes, no pity, but no joy or triumph either. He had just hit her where it hurt, made her bleed. That he didn't seem to be enjoying what he had done didn't ease the pain.

“How –” was all that she managed to say.

“I trade in information, Laura. It's nothing personal. I simply did my homework after meeting you. As I'm sure you did.”

“Of course I did,” she said dryly.

“So we're even. And I'm pretty sure that even so, you know more about me than I about you, now. _No_ ,” he said forcefully as she opened her mouth, “I said I _don't want to know_ what I said tonight.”

“I didn't want to talk to have _information_ , Daken,” she said quietly, and shook her head. “You just...” she sighed, “You just went and ruined it all.” _I will hurt you, Laura, because that's the only way I know. Run away from me._ He had done it _on purpose_. To stop her from keeping asking, to stop her from caring, or maybe even _pretending_ to care, in his mind. He didn't _know_ how to handle concern. He was her, old her, on a level that could very well be beyond reach. She didn't look at him; she could have felt ill if she had.

“I know.” His voice was equally quiet. She wanted to grab him by his shoulders and shake him and scream at him. “But you just wouldn't shut up.”

“That was cruel. Unnecessarily so. You could have shut me up in any number of ways.”

“Don't lie now. You _weren't_ going to shut up.”

She raised her eyes: he wasn't looking at her, but at the snow; there was something in his posture that just made her seethe.

 _No, he's_ not _beyond reach, I refuse –_ “I _refuse_ to let you do this,” she said forcefully. His head whipped up.

“What do you _want?_ ”

“I just – dammit, Daken!” Laura passed a hand through her hair. “Fine, you don't want to talk about Romulus, as I don't want to talk about New York. I shouldn't have pushed you.” She waited for him to take her hint.

He stared at her, disbelief written all over his face for less than a second, then shook his head, letting out a short, breathy laughter. “You're _unbelievable._ I just purposefully hurt you.”

“Yes, _exactly_.” She cocked an eyebrow at him. _You wouldn't have done it if you hadn't been on the defensive. You wouldn't have done it if you hadn't cared. You warned me tonight, Daken. I won't fall for it._

“I shouldn't have said you had it watered down,” he said, and it was the closest he would come to an apology, and she knew it. _Baby steps_ , she thought. She wouldn't mention he had used his pheromones on her; he hadn't even been conscious.

He thrust his hands in his pockets, looking at her. “This is ridicolous. I could be playing you, Laura.”

“I'll take my chances,” she challenged.

“Not only that, it's _useless_ ,” he wrinkled his nose.

“ _I'll_ be judge of that.”

“Fine, have it your way.”

He seemed utterly flustered. She decided to help him a bit.

“You mentioned a present?” Laura said, as if nothing had happened at all.

“Oh, _that?_ Yes,” he snorted, and fell into his element again, like a man slipping into a pair of comfortable shoes. “I lied to you. Colcord's alive.”

She felt her blood run cold. Anger, shock? She shook her head. “You –”

“Don't worry, he's as inoffensive as a baby.” Daken reached her and said quietly an address. “Do what you want with him.”

She looked up at him, trying to gauge him. “Is this a trap?”

“That's for you to decide.”

He walked past her; she turned to look at him. “Why would you tell me?”

“I thought you might want to have a go at him.” Daken walked backwards and cocked an eyebrow. “He'll die anyway; I'm cutting his guards.”

“You had him under guard? You – why are you cutting his guards?”

“Didn't I tell you?” Daken kept walking backwards, “This is farewell, Laura.”

 _What?_ Laura shook herself and walked after him.

_It's utterly_ useless.

_I was just making a point. All symbolical, you know._

_A nice soundtrack for my rebirth._

_I'm not capable of creating anything. But I want to try, I will try, I'm free now._

_You talk as if_ I _let myself be governed by the past._

_I was going to text you._

_I'm_ here _on a soul-cleansing, self-searching trip._

“What are you going to do?”

“Oh, who knows,” Daken shrugged. “The world's full of possibilities.”

Laura shook her head. “You can't think I'll believe you aren't planning _anything_.”

“Well, my next stop _is_ planned,” Daken shrugged again, a not-quite-smile on his face, almost wistful, “After that, I'll see.”

“Daken –”

“Take care, Laura,” Daken cut her out, and turned. She stopped walking and watched him go until he disappeared into the woods. There was a weird sort of finality in his steps, and she thought she should let him go. His words had had the taste of a real farewell, too. Maybe it was true, maybe he really wanted to turn around and write a new chapter of his life, a life now free of Romulus.

 _We are constructs_ , she recalled telling him in Madripoor. She recalled telling him something else, too. _I know when someone is trying to prove something_. That aftertaste hadn't been there, now, hadn't been in his words.

_The world's full of possibilities._

_It is. It is._ It was time for her to readjust her life too, time to leave what Arcade, the Purifiers had done behind. Time to leave the facility, too, perhaps. She would decide soon.

For now, she contented herself with staying in the snow, the sun on her face.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> We don't know when Logan was taken by Weapon X, but I've discovered it's pretty much assumed it was at the end of the Seventies. I couldn't resist to link it to the infamous revelation of Itsu's death, and in all honesty, I do think Daniel Way was trying to imply something like that. That is why I've worked the date 1977 into this.  
> On Daken urinating to make a point: an image I couldn't get out of my head since Liu's interview in which she said she and Way had wanted to make him urinate from the top of the Avengers Tower, in Dark Wolverine 75.  
> The hypothermia (and the idea of Daken endlessly experiencing it) comes from that panel of tiny Daken in the snow in the _Godlike_ arc.  
>  I'm aware Arcade has died recently in the comics, but I don't think Laura is aware of it as of All New X-Men 26, so I'm leaving her in the dark.


End file.
